Thoughts On Shopping

I am a horrible shopper. Enthusiastic, yet indecisive. Today, I walked around the store over and over looking at everything, but I couldn’t seem to trick myself into thinking that I needed anything. At this point I ventured to the sales rack, and for a time all was calm. As I perused through the items on sale, I was displeased to find that nothing was my size. Why? Well, it’s Urban Outfitters, all hipsters wear smalls, therefore they were gone.

Amidst my third round through the sales rack a scarlet t-shirt with a large Tiger on the front caught my eye. SCORE. A further investigation of the overpriced items displayed throughout the store revealed a Cardigan. A Cardigan that says “Oh hey, I’m not afraid to look like an old man, but there are white stripes on the sleeve so I’m much cooler than you.” In other words, dignified yet in your face. Needless to say, I purchased said Cardigan and seem to be wearing it right now.

Sounds like a successful shopping trip, right? Nope, I failed to obtain my next level of skinny jeans. If you are wondering what that means, I am easing myself into skinny jeans. Presently I am at the semi-skinny phase, the next step is skinny and I am prepared. Expect to see me wearing a pair by the end of this fortnight.

And finally, when I say shopping, I mean shopping in all its forms, from grocery shopping to hat shopping to buying an ice cream cone. When it comes down to it, I really don’t know how to want things and properly execute obtaining them. Maybe it’s my inner self coming out and saying “You know material goods will not make you happy.” But when I shop I am not searching for happiness, I am searching for something to broadcast me better than the clothing I already have in my arsenal. An upgrade of caliber if you will.

Hooray for Goodwill.

By: Sal Aresco


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