Die Uhr. El Reloj. L’horloge. The Clock.

Why do we wear clocks on our wrists? Why do we call them watches? Why people who wear human powered watches superior to those who run theirs on batteries?

I will be the first to say that these are all great questions, and I will also be the first to answer them.

I, for one, wear a clock upon my wrist because it is old and cracked. It ticks rather loudly and is without a battery. I wind it every morning, look at it every hour, and take it off every evening. It is kind of appropriate to have a routine with a watch. I mean, it deserves it. Day in day out it helps you count down the days to your eventual insanity. The least you could do is give it peace of mind and a good place to sleep.

A watch is called a watch for a number of reasons. One reason is because we watch them constantly. Just waiting for the next thing to do, for the next hour to pass. There is no relaxation when wearing a watch, unless it is windup. Reason number two, if a wall clock and a watch had the same name there would be a formidable amount of what is perceived as confusion in everything we do. “What time is it?” “Do I check the clock or my watch?” “I don’t know, lets go for a walk.” This is not confusion, this is trying to think inside the box but the box is too small, so you forget about it. Reason three, its easy just to accept the name for what it is, rather than think about it too much. Acceptance is one of many things I have yet to master, so I will dismiss this one as idiocy.

The battery powered watch is for the go getter, accurate time at all times. Just go and forget about it. The wind up watch is for the passive go getter. One who is a go getter only when he sees fit to do so, because if you forget to wind your watch, you don’t know what time it is. If you can’t find out what time it is, what does it matter? “Oh, my watch isn’t moving, I guess I’ll skip work today.” Thats what I like to hear. It feels nice to know that time will stop if I don’t wind my watch for thirty hours. Makes me feel like I have great power. Just call me father time.

Sal Aresco

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